by ADUN IYORE JOANNA (RN)
(for nurses who feel out of place,you are not alone).
Every nurse talks about how they got interested in nursing. How nursing was their calling/destiny, some felt that this was what they were meant to be, some had a very strong conviction.
But there were some of us who didn’t share those beliefs. We just happened to find ourselves in this profession. Now we’re stuck, not because we want to,but because there’s nowhere else to go. That was me ; tired, frustrated and repeatedly asking myself if this was what I was meant to be. All that changed when I least expected. And it can all be summed up in one word;
Another morning duty started. “I hate mondays” ; I quietly whispered to myself. We started handover, and there she was. Lying on the bed, pale as a turkey,reading a book. There was something about her, something that caught my eye.
On medication round, she was the last patient I attended to. After taking her meds, I mentioned how I loved the ‘davinci code’ too. Her eyes sparked up, and she smiled. Well, an hour later we were still talking.
I was amazed at how much our thoughts aligned, She thinks like me; I quietly thought. After my shift ended,i promised to bring her a book she would enjoy the next morning.She joyfully exclaimed and said she’d be waiting. I smiled and hugged her goodnight. Today was a good day; I thought.
I happily strolled into the ward the next day. Today is going to be a fun day; I thought. Mr James the porter even commented that I was rather cheerful that morning. I can’t wait to show bolade the book I brought for her ; I happily thought.
During handover, getting to bay 2,her bed was empty. We lost bed 15,said the night nurse.She died 5:45am this morning. I didnt realize when my eyes welled up with tears. Oh no! Bolade is gone. I had to excuse myself to the nurses change room.And I cried my heart out.
Then I started to wonder why her death got to me that much. She wasn’t the first patient I’ve lost. Maybe it was those brown eyes or how softly she spoke. Maybe it was the way her eyes showed a hunger to experience all life had to offer. Maybe it was because I saw so much of myself in her. Maybe she was God-sent, the awakening I needed.
After that day, everything changed. I suddenly realized that maybe I had a reason to be here. I realized I had something to offer other than my ‘nursing services’.It was a new beginning for me. I decided to treat every patient like I treated bolade, I decided to make dark days look a bit brighter,I decided to be a ray of hope during this bleak period of my patients lives.
BOLADE changed everything.For me, she was my awakening. She made me realize how lucky I was to be in a position to impact lives. I hope you find your awakening if you haven’t yet. And I hope you remember to seize and appreciate the moment when it comes.
No one ever said nursing was easy, no one .